A Helpful Glossary for This Technical Age!

In reading this blog you may encounter various obscure terms. For clarification purposes, I present these “updated” definitions.

A 20th-Century Lexicon: (For those old enough to remember the 20th century.)

Access – Admission to those properly dressed!

Address – 246 Peacock Avenue, for example. Also, Gettysburg.

Amazon – Naked woman living near a jungle river.

Back Space – A roomy rear yard.

Backup – Difficult for beginner auto drivers.

Bar Code – Pay for the drinks when it’s your turn!  No fist fights!

Bold – Approaching a redhead with a licentious proposal.

Cloud – Coalesced moisture in the sky.

Connectivity – Railroad car couplings, or dots in a puzzle.

Delete – Possible with white-out fluid, neater than crossing out.

Digital – Having to do with fingers or numbers.

Digits – Knuckled extensions of the hand; colloquially called “fingers.”  Also, numbers.

Dock – A place where ships tie up so rats & bugs have a chance to climb aboard.

Domain – Eminent…

Downloading – Possibly removing cargo from a truck, or more crudely, what we do when sitting on a toilet.

Facebook – Possibly a folding case, holding powder, rouge, tweezers, and a mirror.

Escape Key – Difficult to get at when you’re in prison.

Firewall – Don’t try this at home!

Google — Barney, and his horse, Spark Plug.

Hacking – Best done with a sharp ax.

Harddisk – Difficult to beat roulette wheel.

Hardware – Hammers & nails, nuts & bolts, etc.

Identity theft – Superman got away with it.

Internet – ?!? (Could be what holds a woman’s corset together.)

Justification – A supposedly good excuse.

Layers – Good hens.

Link – a unit of a chain or a woven metal fence.

Loading – Drinking too much booze.

Macintosh – A good serviceable raincoat.

Microsoft  – An extremely tiny pillow.

Network – A woven structure for catching fish, or more modernly, co-joined radio or television stations, such as CBS or NBC.

Notebook – Never write incriminating  thoughts in one of these.

Online – Could have been a Match Ball !  Or drying clothes.

Out of Memory – Happens to old folks.

Password – Needed to gain entrance to a Masonic Temple or speakeasy.

Photoshop – Kodak has some good ones.

PIN Code – A cipher, written on the head of a pin.

Post – A sharpened stick pounded into the ground.

Printer Error – Could cause a lawsuit against a newspaper.

Resolution – Relating only to New Years Day…

Roaming – Footloose.

Saved – Those who accept Jesus.

Screen Shot – Illustrations in a Movie Magazine.

Site Address – Where it happened.

Site – A place where you might build a house, or where a murder took place, or where a UFO landed, etc.!

Smart Phone  – One that would not ring when you’re taking a nap.

Social Site – Club House, or location of a syphilis infection.

Software – Pillows, for example.

Twitter – Birds do it.

Wireless – The British term for radio.

Yahoo – Your typical redneck!

Now you see how our world has drastically changed in recent years. All of the above could have been true definitions I when I was growing up in America.

Gene Deitch


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