In reading this blog you may encounter various obscure terms. For clarification purposes, I present these “updated” definitions.
A 20th-Century Lexicon: (For those old enough to remember the 20th century.)
Access – Admission to those properly dressed!
Address – 246 Peacock Avenue, for example. Also, Gettysburg.
Amazon – Naked woman living near a jungle river.
Back Space – A roomy rear yard.
Backup – Difficult for beginner auto drivers.
Bar Code – Pay for the drinks when it’s your turn! No fist fights!
Bold – Approaching a redhead with a licentious proposal.
Cloud – Coalesced moisture in the sky.
Connectivity – Railroad car couplings, or dots in a puzzle.
Delete – Possible with white-out fluid, neater than crossing out.
Digital – Having to do with fingers or numbers.
Digits – Knuckled extensions of the hand; colloquially called “fingers.” Also, numbers.
Dock – A place where ships tie up so rats & bugs have a chance to climb aboard.
Domain – Eminent…
Downloading – Possibly removing cargo from a truck, or more crudely, what we do when sitting on a toilet.
Facebook – Possibly a folding case, holding powder, rouge, tweezers, and a mirror.
Escape Key – Difficult to get at when you’re in prison.
Firewall – Don’t try this at home!
Google — Barney, and his horse, Spark Plug.
Hacking – Best done with a sharp ax.
Harddisk – Difficult to beat roulette wheel.
Hardware – Hammers & nails, nuts & bolts, etc.
Identity theft – Superman got away with it.
Internet – ?!? (Could be what holds a woman’s corset together.)
Justification – A supposedly good excuse.
Layers – Good hens.
Link – a unit of a chain or a woven metal fence.
Loading – Drinking too much booze.
Macintosh – A good serviceable raincoat.
Microsoft – An extremely tiny pillow.
Network – A woven structure for catching fish, or more modernly, co-joined radio or television stations, such as CBS or NBC.
Notebook – Never write incriminating thoughts in one of these.
Online – Could have been a Match Ball ! Or drying clothes.
Out of Memory – Happens to old folks.
Password – Needed to gain entrance to a Masonic Temple or speakeasy.
Photoshop – Kodak has some good ones.
PIN Code – A cipher, written on the head of a pin.
Post – A sharpened stick pounded into the ground.
Printer Error – Could cause a lawsuit against a newspaper.
Resolution – Relating only to New Years Day…
Roaming – Footloose.
Saved – Those who accept Jesus.
Screen Shot – Illustrations in a Movie Magazine.
Site Address – Where it happened.
Site – A place where you might build a house, or where a murder took place, or where a UFO landed, etc.!
Smart Phone – One that would not ring when you’re taking a nap.
Social Site – Club House, or location of a syphilis infection.
Software – Pillows, for example.
Twitter – Birds do it.
Wireless – The British term for radio.
Yahoo – Your typical redneck!
Now you see how our world has drastically changed in recent years. All of the above could have been true definitions I when I was growing up in America.
Gene Deitch